What is loneliness?
We all feel lonely at times – loneliness is a natural human experience. It happens when there is a mismatch between the connections we have and the connections we need or would like to have.
Loneliness can affect anyone, at any stage of life. It can have many different causes, and people experience it in different ways – from a passing feeling in a difficult moment, to something that lasts longer and feels harder to shift.
Loneliness can weigh heavily. It can leave us feeling sad, low in confidence, or disconnected from the people around us. Over time, loneliness can also make it harder to reach out, which may lead to avoiding social situations – even when we want connection.
It is also important to remember that you can feel lonely even if you have lots of people around you. You might be in a relationship, part of a family, or busy at work, and still feel lonely – especially if you feel misunderstood, left out or not truly supported. These feelings can make it harder to open up and talk.
Loneliness is different from solitude. Some people choose to spend time alone and feel content and recharged by it. For others, being alone may feel difficult or isolating. Both are normal, and what matters is how it feels for you.
Everyday signs you may notice
- Feeling low, tearful or more emotional than usual
- Feeling anxious, stressed or overwhelmed
- Withdrawing from friends, family, colleagues or activities
- Feeling tired, drained or lacking motivation
- Losing interest in things you usually enjoy
- Feeling disconnected or like you don’t belong
- Feeling more sensitive, irritable or easily upset
- Changes in routine, such as staying indoors more often
Changes in habits that can be linked to loneliness
Sometimes people try to ‘fill the gap’ or distract themselves from difficult feelings. This can look like:
- Drinking more alcohol
- Smoking more
- Spending longer online or scrolling more on social media
- Shopping more (including online)
- Gambling (online or in person)
Physical signs
Loneliness can also affect our bodies over time, for example:
- Poor sleep or disrupted sleep
- Changes in appetite
- Low energy or feeling physically run down
- Reduced activity and movement, which can affect strength and mobility
- Feeling more aches, pains, or general health concerns
Impact on emotional wellbeing
Loneliness isn’t a mental health condition in itself, but if it lasts a long time it can affect how we feel and cope day to day. It may lead to:
- Lower mood and increased feelings of sadness
- Reduced confidence and self-worth
- Feeling unwanted, rejected or left out
- Increased worry or negative thoughts
- Feeling trapped or hopeless
If loneliness continues and starts to feel overwhelming, it can increase the risk of poor mental health. In some cases, people may experience thoughts of self-harm or suicide. If you are worried about yourself or someone else, please seek support.
What can cause loneliness?
Loneliness can happen to anyone. It isn’t always about being on your own, but can also happen when you don’t feel understood, supported or connected to the people around you.
There isn’t one single cause. Loneliness is often linked to changes in our lives, our health, our relationships, or our environment.
- Bereavement
- Relationship breakdown
- Becoming a parent
- Moving house or moving to a new area
- Children leaving home
- Losing a job or retiring
- Caring responsibilities
- Long term health conditions or a period of illness
- Disability (including changes in mobility, hearing or sight)
Who may be more at risk of loneliness?
Loneliness can affect anyone, but evidence shows some people may be more likely to experience it, including people who are:
- Living alone
- Single
- Unemployed or experiencing financial pressures
- Living in rented or temporary accommodation
- People aged 16-24
- From an ethnic minority community
- LGBTQIA+
- Not using digital technology (or feeling excluded from it)
These factors don’t automatically mean someone will lonely – only that they may face additional challenges that can make connection harder.
The role of our environment
The place we live and the support around us can also affect loneliness. For example:
- Poor access to transport can make it harder to get out and about
- Living in a rural area can increase isolation for some people
- Health issues (including frailty and dementia) can affect independence and confidence
- Neighbourhood changes over time can reduce a sense of belonging
- Limited access to local spaces (parks, groups, community venues) can make it harder to meet others
As people’s health changes, it may feel harder to leave the house or take part in activities. Over time, this can reduce social contact and increase loneliness.
What can I do to support myself and others?
Feeling lonely can be really hard – but there are small steps we can take that may help. Not everything will work for everyone, so it’s okay to try a few ideas and see what fits:
Engage with the people you meet in your daily life
It can be difficult to connect when you’re feeling low, but small interactions can make a difference – a smile, a hello, a short chat. These moments can help you feel more connected, and they may brighten someone else’s day too.
Find people who ‘get you’
Sometimes loneliness comes from not feeling understood. Joining a group, activity or community where people share your interests can help you feel more at supported and give you a sense of belonging.
Keep in touch with someone you trust
Talking to a friend, family member or colleague about how you’re feeling can help, even if it’s just a small check-in. If you’re worried about your well being, speaking with your GP can also help you explore support options.
Use social media in a positive way
Social media can help us stay connected and find communities we relate to. But it can also make loneliness feel worse at times. If it’s affecting your mood, it may help to take a break or limit your time online.
Do enjoyable things that keep you busy
Doing something you enjoy – even something small - can improve your mood and give your day a sense of structure. This could include a hobby, nature walks, a class, music, puzzles, crafting, or volunteering.
Do things that stimulate your mind
Some people find it helps to keep their mind active through reading, crosswords, learning something new, taking a course, or listening to podcasts.
Try to move a little more
Movement can boost mood and energy. This doesn’t have to be intense exercise, but could be a walk, stretching, gardening, gentle movement at home, or getting out to the local shops.
Spend time with pets
Spending time with animals can reduce stress and bring comfort. They can give structure to the day and encourage us to get out and to connect with others. If you don’t have a pet, you might be able to connect with animals through friends, family or volunteering.
Eat well and drink alcohol moderately
When we feel lonely, our routines can slip, which can make things feel harder. Eating regularly and keeping alcohol to safer levels can support both physical and emotional wellbeing.
Support is available if gambling has become a coping strategy
Some people use gambling as a way to manage feelings of loneliness or stress. If gambling is starting to cause harm, it is important to reach out – support is available and you don’t have to cope alone.
Where else can I look?
- Noticeboards in village halls, shops and community centres
- GP practice and pharmacy noticeboards
- Local community Facebook pages
- Libraries and leisure centres
Sometimes the simplest way is the best: ask a neighbour friend or family member what’s going on locally – and if you feel able, go along together.
Everyone can play a part in helping reduce loneliness across Fife. Small actions make a big difference — to our own wellbeing and to the people around us.
Join the Fife Pledge and commit to one simple action that helps build connection in your day‑to‑day life.
Pledge Inspiration
Here are some ideas to get you started:
- Say hello to someone new when you’re out and about
- Check in on a neighbour or family member
- Invite someone for a cuppa or a short walk
- Join a local group, class or community activity
- Start a friendly conversation at work, in a shop or on the bus
- Reach out to someone you haven’t spoken to in a while
- Get involved in a volunteering opportunity or community event
Together, we can make Fife a place where everyone feels connected and supported.
Simply type your pledge into the box below and click ‘Submit’ to join the Fife Pledge. Your small action can make a big difference.
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